The Extendables (2014)

Would you do anything to climb your way back to the top of fame? In 2014, Vardell wants to show he’s not done yet.

Directing this 84 minute comedy is Brian Thompson.

Some of the cast is: Brian Thompson as Vardell Duseldorfer/VD, Ian Patrick Williams as Sir Jeffrey, Gary Graham as Burton, David Saywer as Soundman, Lorielle New as Sue, Bobby Reed as Chef Louie, Marisa Ramirez as Maria and Lee Garlington as Paint.

Vardell Duseldorfer was a big star once, but after a few bad movies and some bad press, Vardell has fallen from grace. Well, Vardell believes he’s not done yet, and has a plan on jumping back into the lime light. He’s decided to take a movie offer from Uzbekistan. His next movie deal not only hired him to star in the film, but direct it as well. So prepare yourself, cause if Vardell has it his way…you’re going to get some high powered VD action!

Now, most of the movie watching world will know who Brian Thompson is, maybe not by name (cause I didn’t) but by his face once you see him. Thompson has been in a ton of television shows and movies. All told, he has like 93 film credits to his name. Some of these credits are from popular shows like Kindred: The Embrace (1996), Chuck (2009), NCIS (2004) and The X-Files (1995) to his films like Alien Nation (1988), Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane (2007) and (my favorite) Cobra (1986).

Due to his many roles, Thompson has worked with a lot of big named stars, especially in the action genre. All that time spent around certain stars is supposedly where the idea for this flick came from. Apparently, this film is a mash up of “true” instances or situations that have happened on different films while Thompson was working. Also, his character Vardell Duseldorfer or VD is supposedly a mix of Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Now, how true any of this stuff is I don’t have a clue. I will say after watching the flick… yeah I could see some of it really happening. Aside from getting to poke a little funny at some people, The Extendables gives Thompson a chance to knock a few things off of his never done it before list. Here he took on the role of the producer, directer and writer. Yep, this is Thompson’s directorial debut!

The playthrough was… interesting to say the least. It was like watching midgets juggle. You’re amazed by everything that’s going on and you can’t look away, but after a few you find yourself wondering why you’re still watching. Before you know it, it’s been 20, 30 even 40 minutes later and guess what? It’s still midgets juggling… and yet you still can’t look away. Now, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, I laughed quite a bit. This is one of those turn your mind off, go slightly numb inside and prepare for some truly mindless repetitive humor, and a lot of penis references.

I will say the cast line up was kind of cool. The appearances made by Mark Dacascos, Kevin Sorbo, Craig Kilborn, Patrick Warburton and Martin Kove were a quick but fun surprise. Really it’s hard to say any of the cast did good or bad. Because it’s such a cheesy film almost everyone stands out at one point or another. I have to give it to Thompson though, his character was pretty good and I could see the mixes of the supposed inspirations popping out from spot to spot. So I think Thompson did a good job in not only creating that mixed character but also selling it. It doesn’t take skill to be a bad actor, but it does take skill to act badly.

Again, you don’t want to expect to much from this one. The budget was around 500,000 and everything takes place on like 4 sets total. Then again, the low budget look, funny enough, was the setting for VD’s movie, so everything oddly works out.