Axeman (2013)

Do you think it’s a good idea to stay at a cabin that has a murderous past? In February 2013, a group of friends could tell you… no it’s not.

Directing this 105 minute horror is Joston Theney.

Some of the cast is: Elissa Dowling as Stacy, Jamie Bernadette as Tammy, Erin Marie Hogan as Liz, Stephen Eith as Brian, Chantelle as Cassidy, J. Scott as Randy, Joston Theney as Darren, Dylan Hobbs as Doug, Eliza Kiss as Vivian, Suzi Hale as Maureen and Scot Pollard as The Axeman.

Nine friends decide to have a get together at a cabin. Have some drinks, share some laughs… dig up the past. Unfortunately, being hunted by an axe-wielding murder wasn’t part of their plans. Apparently the local legend, Axeman, has an axe to grind with these vacationers.

So, I can’t even begin to tell you how bad this flick was. As far as slasher flicks go, this has to be down on the bottom of the pile in every aspect. Joston Theney, who wrote, directed and starred in this horror flick, came up with, and made something that had no excitement or imagination whatsoever.

The storyline had promise, then again you have limitless potential when it comes to slasher flicks. Yet, writers Joston Theney and Christopher Otiko just didn’t deliver when it came down to it. The only suspense in the story was wondering who of the friends would wind up fighting with someone else in the group. Something that happens more than anything slasher related in the film. The Axeman isn’t really around much, then out of no where he shows up to wrap up the movie. Making the playthrough of the flick really slow and boring. What would usually be character development, just turned into a bunch of people pissing and moaning at each other (while giving back story to the friends) and did nothing to help the movie.

The script was weak, but the delivery from the cast didn’t help matters any. Between the over dramatized characters and the bad acting, I kept hoping the Axeman would come and take these characters away… but nope I had to wait and watch everyone hack-act their way through the story till it was finally their fatal time.

The special effects were not all that good, nor where any of the kills. Again, so much of the film lacked imagination that even the kills where boring. Side note: when you brutally kill someone with an axe, shouldn’t the axe have blood on it when you’re done? I guess not. The one time this movie actually moved me was when they try to gross out the viewers with a scene between two of the people, which had nothing to do with the Axeman. Then again, I’m not big on vomit, give me blood and tons of guts any day of the week.

Either way, the film was able to maintain a constant low standing during the whole movie. I will say however I kind of dug the soundtrack. Yet, after watching this one I seriously can’t recommend anyone seeing it. I love good and bad horror movies. If you can’t be scared by them, there’s always sitting around with some friends and hacking it up with them. I didn’t even find enough here for a good hack night with friends.